A few weeks ago we had a great opportunity to see the Blue Angels practice before a local air show. I was amazed that they were so perfectly in line and obviously, they were paying close attention to their own actions, their leader and each other. Even a slight miscalculation or a little distraction could have been very dangerous, or even deadly.I had to stop and think about my life. I wondered if I am always that focused on God. (of course I know I am not) I get distracted by the 'clouds' and 'birds' in my life, and when I do, I tend to lose my focus on the most important ONE in my life. Or maybe, I shift to autopilot...just going about my business without really thinking, but again, that is not a good way to live....too many disasters await me when I am not focused on God.
As I think back over my life, I realize that there have been times my focus has been in the wrong place.....not a bad person, job, situation... necessarily.....but just a wrong focus. This is SO easy to do when you are a newly married person or a new mom or you have a new job or you have a new friend or a new 'toy' of some sort. You want to spend a lot of time and energy there, and in some cases that is required (ie., I have never seen a baby change and feed itself), but there are still ways to find the Lord and focus on Him, even in the busy hustle and bustle of those life changing events.
Right now, I would say that my 'job' (homeschooling and teaching at the cover group) and my family are my primary focus, besides the Lord. My challenge is to keep God first, family second with friends and job and other things in my life following. I am sure that none of you struggle with that....but it has been really tough for me recently. The urgent overtakes the eternal.
I wish I had a great and insightful answer for this problem but I am finding that it comes down to me. I have to commune with the Lord...I have to make it a priority.....I have to find the time....I have to give myself to Him. I know when I do, my day goes so much better, or if it doesn't, at least I know that He has been invited to help me thru it all and to show Himself stong in my life in the struggles.
I am also having to learn that I cannot be everything to everyone and sometimes I have to say 'no' and if the other persons involved get mad at me, then I will have to pray for them and move on...because I have spent way too much time trying to please others and not enough focus on making sure I am pleasing HIM first (and He'll show me what I should be doing for others).
So, it is my prayer that I will have the intent focus on Him (just as these pilots have on each other and their leader), and that my life will shine as a light for Him. It was kinda hard to miss these guys...they were something else to see. I hope that the same can be said of me, as a follower of Christ.
9 comments:
PS...I will delete the older comments as I feel they are quite sensitive in nature. As I am assured you have read my most recent post, I will delete that as well, and perhaps we can communicate on this post privately.
I came in on this a little late, I suppose, but I understand COMPLETELY what you are saying about needing to refocus on God first. A lot of times our friends and loved ones consider that as being selfish, but they are not the ones we answer to, are they? If we keep God first in our hearts and lives, then He will work out the other relationships in our lives. He wants us to have friends and supportive family. I have had to draw back on several occasions myself in order to preserve my mental health, spiritual health, and at times my physical health. God gives us a radar of sorts that lets us know when enough is enough. Don't be hard on yourself. As long as the Lord is your center focus that's all that matters.
I have read your comments. It sounds like you have a lot going on. I hope you will do what you need to in order to become healthy and that you will be able to rebuild the friendships you wish to rebuild at some point.
Thanks for that reminder, Christy. While my head knows this, sometimes my heart does not follow because I feel that I must fix everything to the other people's satisfaction right now (or I feel guilty if I am not doing so). And, sometimes others don't quite understand what's going on and I am not always good at communicating my need to draw back without hurting them.
Thank you anonymous for your well wishes. I am slowly moving in the right direction, and with time, I think that things can be worked through and new friendships can emerge from the old ones that were not as they should have been.
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